Friday, July 27, 2012

Hey There, Faithful Readers...

This post is the response to recent facebook message from a favorite friend. Warning to any (if there are any?) men: you probably want to avoid point number 3. Unless you're married. Then you might want to draw your wife's attention to it. Enjoy!

1.) "You don't blog anymore. It's sad. I miss it." 
           Ridiculous and falsely humble as it may sound, it always comes as a surprise to me that anyone would read rambling thoughts and happenings of my day. That's not so much humility as it is an insight into my insecurities. Insecurity is probably an issue for almost everyone I've met, and a topic of countless books, magazine articles, etc. (Unless you're my husband, who is one of the most secure, and comfortable-in-his-own-skin people I've ever met. I pray that my children inherit that security from him and that as I continue to believe that what God says is try and embrace my true identity, they will learn their true identities and not struggle like I have.) Honestly, without the topic of the Cherished ministry, I overthink the things that I consider blogging about. My plan is to get back to regular posting in spite of any "what will they think?" type thoughts. I heard someone say once that a person's facebook identity is typically not who they are, but who they want people to think they are. You cultivate your "public face". So I will try to be as honest about who I am, and what I think, in the hopes that as you read this, you see a woman honestly trying to follow Jesus and love him as best she can. Even is you don't approve of the fact that she likes rap AND is a worship leader. 

2.) "Did you decide not to update the Cherished facebook group? How are things going? Still doing something monthly?" 
            That's right, I created a facebook group of people to pray for the Cherished ministry. I hope you're not offended if you're not in it. I invited people who regularly contact me personally and that I know pray over this ministry, so I'm sorry if you would have wanted to be in on that. Anyway, this is something that is difficult for me to talk about. Makes me feel a little sick. In the last 4 months or so, I have felt a diminishing of my 'call' to the Cherished ministry. Part of that is because I took the worship leader position at our church, and time became less and less available, but a big part of it was due to reading "7 Practices of Effective Ministry" by Andy Stanley, Reggie Joiner, and Lane Jones. As a staff at church we read it and went through the questions together. It was really great, and I recommend this book to everyone. It was a chapter called "Narrow the Focus" that really got to me. It was a chapter about cutting prgrams that might be working, but are not contributing as much to the overall mission of the church, rather, they're using resources that could be used in a program that might better feed into the mission. I know that I was supposed to go to the club and do what I did. I can't shake the feeling that my part in it is over. I'm still praying that God will clarify or give me reassurance that this is right, but my gut says it is. I hate quitting. I hate feeling like I started something I thought I might be doing for a decade or more, but this is right. I'm praying that God will give someone else a vision and a plan for how to reach these women. I still plan to stop by occasionally, and make sure they are aware of any outreaches the Vineyard does that could reach them. I just won't be continuing on a steady, monthly basis. Even as I write these things, I can think of a million easy ways to say that I should keep going, except that I'm not supposed to. At least not as the leader or on a regular basis. Please pray for me in this. Pray that God tells me what he wants. That he provides whatever is best for these people. 

3.) "Slightly off-topic, but where does one buy pretty underwear that doesn't come from Victoria's Secret? Also that doesn't cost $250 apiece."
              Married ladies, if you aren't investing or interested in this question, you should be. Speaking from experience, it's so easy to think less about pretty underwear and lingerie the longer you're married. He wants you as you are, right? Everything you had or bought a few years ago still fits, right? You're nursing, and they don't make sexy nursing bras, right? These are all thoughts that have run through my head. But I'm so thankful to have a couple of women who keep me accountable to make sure that I'm putting in the effort to love my husband by loving on my husband. And as men are visual creatures, this includes looking hot ;-) Also, it's just nice to feel pretty (even if no one eles sees). So, in answer to the question, I like sales at department stores and Have fun. :-) 


Suzanne Slagell said...

Excellently done. :)

Suzanne Slagell said...

Also, 7 Practices is a FANTASTIC book. We went through it several years ago, and it was invaluable.

Bird's Words said...

I have missed your posts. And this one is terrific! It's a blessing ( and quite fun!) to keep the flame going in our marriages :)

jess said...

Thanks! It's good to be back! :-)